


for all my life (for forever)

by InterstellarBlue (nagi_schwarz), nagi_schwarz



Series: Prompt Fills 2020 [18]
Category: ASTRO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, M/M, Time Travel, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:54:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26487502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nagi_schwarz/pseuds/InterstellarBlue, https://archiveofourown.org/users/nagi_schwarz/pseuds/nagi_schwarz
Summary: Written for the historical comment_fic prompt: "Astro, Lee Dongmin|Cha Eunwoo +/ Park Minhyuk|Rocky, The Time Traveler's Wife fusion."Dongmin falls through time, and Minhyuk is his anchor.Minhyuk will love Dongmin for all his life, for forever.
Relationships: Lee Dongmin | Cha Eunwoo/Park Minhyuk | Rocky
Series: Prompt Fills 2020 [18]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1610299
Comments: 21
Kudos: 42
Collections: Bite Sized Bits of Fic from 2020, K-pop and K-drama AUs





	for all my life (for forever)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WannaBeYourEunwoo (SherlockianSyndromes)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SherlockianSyndromes/gifts).



> So much gratitude to the ineffable Brumeier for her speedy beta work on this.

Dongmin had been accidentally time-traveling since he was five. He more or less knew the drill: one moment he was minding his own business, the next he was somewhere and some  _ when _ totally different, he was naked, and he had to find clothes and shelter and food fast.

Old Mrs. Kim, their neighbor and sometimes housekeeper, had learned to keep food and clothes of various sizes on hand for him, because he tended to appear back at his childhood home (on account of him showing up at home in the weeks leading up to the day his mother died, so he could spend more time with her).

When he landed somewhere else, well, he’d learned from older versions of himself (in his twenties, tall and broad and strong and in turns amused and exasperated with his younger self’s righteous indignation) how to pick locks and pockets, how to forage for food, and how to swallow down his conscience and steal clothes off of laundry lines and food off of window sills and off of tables at streetside restaurants.

So when Dongmin, seventeen and stressed out from studying for exams, accidentally landed in the university library (stress often caused him to jump through time), he was terrified. Sure, he might be able to steal some money and food, but clothes? How would he be able to find clothes in a library?

He hunkered down behind a bookshelf, heart pounding.

He’d been to this library before on a university tour. (He wanted to be a doctor when he grew up. He had to find a way to save his mother.)

If he could find the bathrooms, maybe he could just...hide till he popped back to his own time. But his stomach was growling, because he’d skipped lunch in favor of studying.

“Yah!”

Dongmin froze.

A second later, a coat landed on his head.

“Quick, put that on.”

Dongmin squirmed into the coat. It was heavy and a little itchy but smelled clean. When he finished buttoning it closed, he probably didn’t look too obviously naked underneath it, though he was obviously barefoot, which was weird and would attract attention. 

Then he looked at the young man who’d given him the coat. He was in his early twenties, probably just barely come of age. He had high cheekbones and intensely dark eyes, and he was very handsome. Dongmin was just figuring out that he liked boys, and the young man had full pink lips.

He looked Dongmin up and down and said, “How old are you, sixteen?”

“Eighteen,” Dongmin said, a little defensively.

The man laughed. His voice was pleasant. “You’re cute. You’re only seventeen.”

Dongmin bristled. The man sounded so sure. There was a certain knowing light in his eyes that Dongmin didn’t quite like. But then the man said,

“Come on, the bathrooms are this way.”

Dongmin followed as the man led him through the stacks to the bathroom, and while Dongmin was wary of following a stranger - yes, Dongmin was taller and broader, but the man looked stronger, more densely muscled, for all that he was more slender - he did recognize the way to the bathrooms from his university tour, and also the man was keeping them off of crowded thoroughfares.

The man led Dongmin into the bathrooms and pushed him into a stall.

“Hang on,” Dongmin said, but the man shoved a bag into his hands.

“Hurry up and get dressed. I’ll wait here.”

Dongmin stared at the man. “You - you  _ know  _ me.”

The man grinned, and wow, he had dimples, and he was  _ really _ handsome.

“Are we friends?” Dongmin asked. He didn’t really have any friends, on account of disappearing all the time and also studying very hard and his mother being dead and -

“Hurry!” the man said. “If you get caught wearing nothing but that coat -”

“Right.” Dongmin yanked the stall door shut and pulled on the clothes.

They were all in his size, more or less, and while they weren’t quite what he’d have chosen for himself, they were clean. Looked brand new, even. The shoes were a bit big, but that was better than too small.

Dongmin said, “How old are you?”

“Twenty-one.”

Dongmin finished buttoning the shirt and smoothed down the sleeves. He took a few breaths. This was quite possibly the smoothest transition he’d ever had outside of landing at Mrs. Kim’s house. “What’s your name?”

“Park Minhyuk. You ready?”

Dongmin opened the door. “Yeah.”

Minhyuk looked him up and down, and Dongmin thought he saw something like fondness in the man’s gaze. They must have been friends.

“What year is it?” Dongmin asked.

Minhyuk told him.

“So I’m twenty-three now?” 

Minhyuk nodded and led Dongmin out of the bathroom. He had a backpack, so he was probably a student. Dongmin clutched the bag the clothes had come in and hoped he’d pass for a student of some sort. Maybe a prodigy? He could fake being a prodigy. He was one of the smartest students at his school, after all. He’d come in third in his entire school on the most recent round of exams. This time around his goal was to be first.

“Where am I?” Dongmin asked. Running into himself was no big deal; Minhyuk would probably take it in stride. “Present me, I mean.”

Minhyuk glanced at his watch. “Probably in class. C’mon. It’s nice outside today.”

They headed out of the library and onto a patch of grass below a broad tree.

Minhyuk reached into his backpack and laid several containers of food between them. “Here. Homemade kimbap. Kimchi. And your favorite beef potstickers.”

“You  _ do _ know me,” Dongmin said. “Are we friends? I don’t have many friends.”

“You have plenty of friends in your classes,” Minhyuk said easily, so easily that Dongmin almost believed him.

Maybe it was true. University was different from high school.

How did Dongmin know that the food wasn’t poisoned? He reached for a potsticker, hesitated.

Minhyuk saw his hesitation, reached out, paused and said, “Pick one for me to eat.”

“Why?”

“Well, if they were poisoned, I could offer to taste-test them, but since I made them, I could deliberately eat one I knew wasn’t poisoned, so you pick one.”

Dongmin was glad his future friend was smart, at least. He pointed to a random potsticker, and Minhyuk picked it up, ate it delicately. 

“There. Delicious. Satisfied?”

“I’ll see if it’s delicious myself,” Dongmin said, and Minhyuk laughed.

He really was handsome. Dongmin wondered if Minhyuk knew Dongmin liked boys, if their friendship was strong despite the terrible burden of that secret, or if it was like high school all over again, friendships wavering beyond the insurmountable barriers in his world. Time travel was one thing; liking boys was another.

“So...how long have we been friends?” Dongmin asked.

Minhyuk said, “Eat up. You don’t have a lot of time. I know you’re hungry.”

“How do you know that?” But Dongmin  _ was _ hungry, so he scooped up a potsticker, and it was delicious. It tasted just like the ones Mrs. Kim used to make.

Minhyuk reached into his pocket and withdrew his wallet and fished out a piece of paper, which he unfolded. On it was written a list of dates, times, and places.

In Dongmin’s own handwriting.

Many of them were already crossed out. A few had asterisks next to them. Today’s was circled.

“You gave me a list. Obviously not all of them are on here,” Minhyuk said. “Some you can’t remember, or some were too brief and too chaotic for you to know the details of. But you do the best you can, when you have a moment, and write them down. This is the first time you meet me, but obviously this isn’t the first time I met you.”

His smile was gentle and fond.

Dongmin gobbled down some kimchi. “How old were you when you first met me?”

“Ten. You were twenty-three.”

Dongmin coughed. “Twenty-three?”

“You scared me. I thought you were a spy or an enemy soldier or something. But you knew my younger brother’s name.”

“Younger brother?”

“Jeunggeun. He’s four years younger than me. Everyone says he’s prettier than me.”

“Jeunggeun?”

“I know. My parents didn’t do generation names. Unlike you and Donghwi.”

“How did I convince you I wasn’t a spy?”

“You asked for some of my mother’s kimbap, because you know she makes the best kimbap in the world.” Minhyuk’s expression turned wistful for a moment.

Just for that, Dongmin had to try some of the kimbap. It was pretty good, but it wasn’t the best.

Minhyuk said, “I can’t quite make it like she does.”

“Should you be telling me this?” Dongmin asked. “Won’t it change the future?”

Minhyuk handed Dongmin what looked like a military canteen to drink out of. “For me, it’s the past. Time travel is funny that way, isn’t it?”

“Then..by telling me this, is everything a loop? Is it fate?”

Minhyuk caught Dongmin’s gaze and held it. “You’re the future doctor, the scientist. Is there such a thing as fate?

Dongmin thought of all the times he’d tried to save his mother, tried to warn her of her illness, begged her to see a doctor, told his father about her symptoms. “I think, with some things, yes.”

Minhyuk said, “I don’t think  _ fate _ is the same as  _ meant to be.” _

Dongmin frowned. “I don’t think you understand what the word fate means.”

Minhyuk looked at Dongmin for a long time, like he was trying to memorize Dongmin’s face, and he said, “Some things are fated to happen, but some loves are not meant to be.”

“Loves?” Dongmin echoed, and was embarrassed when his voice went all awkward and husky, because it was still changing.

Minhyuk looked away. “Eat up. You’ll need to be well-fed for your studies.”

Just how well did Minhyuk know him?

Dongmin continued eating, and he felt Minhyuk watching him, sort of the way Mrs. Kim would watch him eat, pleased he was enjoying the food, but also sort of concerned, but also just watching  _ him,  _ and it made him feel a bit odd, because Minhyuk was a total stranger, but it also made him feel warm and cared for.

He went to hand the chopsticks back and thank Minhyuk for the meal, but then he felt the tell-tale tingle in his limbs, and he was falling through time.

* * *

Minhyuk was at the river, getting ready to pull in the nets for the morning, when the man appeared. He was shivering and swearing - and totally naked.

Minhyuk was only ten, but he was old enough to protect himself - and Jeunggeun, who’d fallen asleep in the boat that was bobbing just off the dock. Minhyuk grabbed one of the oars and swung it up like a bo staff, just how he’d learned in taekwondo.

“Halt, enemy!”

The man stumbled to a stop, but he didn’t put his hands up, mostly because he was covering his private parts. He squinted at Minhyuk in the early morning light.

“Park Minhyuk, is that you?”

Fear skittered down Minhyuk’s spine, but he didn’t waver. “Who are you?”

“It’s me, Lee Dongmin, I - how old are you?”

“Twelve,” Minhyuk said.

The man - Minhyuk wasn’t sure how old he was, not as old as father but definitely older than Uncle Sungho - peered at him.

“You’re ten. It  _ is _ you, isn’t it? You said Jeunggeun was prettier than you, but -”

“Are you a communist spy?” Minhyuk demanded, brandishing the oar.

“No,” the man said. “I’m not. I promise. Look, could you get me some clothes? And food? It’s cold, and I’m really hungry.”

“Prove you’re not a spy.” Minhyuk prodded at the man with the oar.

He jumped back, one hand up to try to fend the oar off, still covering his privates with the other hand. “I’m not a spy! Look, can I at least get some clothes before we have this conversation? I will be in so much trouble if someone thinks I’m flashing a kid. Come on.”

“If you’re a spy, flashing a kid will be the least of your troubles,” Minhyuk said.

“True, but - look. Bring me some of your mother’s kimbap. She makes the best kimbap in the world.”

“True,” Minhyuk said slowly. “How do you know that?”

“Bring me some clothes and I’ll tell you.”

Minhyuk was hesitant to leave Jeunggeun alone with a naked weirdo, even if the man knew Eomma made the best kimbap in the world, but even if the man knew who Jeunggeun was, he didn’t necessarily know Jeunggeun was sleeping in the boat nearby, so Minhyuk hurried home and found the biggest clothes that wouldn’t be missed, which ended up being Cousin Hangyeol’s hanbok from his coming-of-age day a couple of years ago. He grabbed a couple of freshly-made kimbap rolls from the kitchen, too, and then hurried back to the river.

“Wow,” Minhyuk said, once the man was dressed. “You look like a prince from a fairytale.”

The man blushed. “Ah - thanks.”

“Here - have some of my mother’s kimbap.”

The man accepted a roll and bit into a piece. 

“Mmm. Delicious. I’ve missed this.”

Minhyuk raised his eyebrows. “You’ve had my mother’s kimbap before? So you’re not a spy.” 

“I said I wasn’t.”

“Then explain how you know about her kimbap. And about me and my brother. And why you were naked.” Minhyuk eyed the man up and down. “Are you her secret lover?”

The man spluttered and nearly choked on a mouthful of food.

Minhyuk handed him a water canteen and let him compose himself enough to answer.

“No! Oh my -  _ no. _ Listen, this is going to sound kind of crazy, but - I’m sort of magic.”

“Magic,” Minhyuk echoed, skeptical.

“Yes,” the man said, though he rather sounded like he meant no. “I can travel through time, but whenever I time-travel I have...nothing with me. No food, no clothes, no money to buy either.”

“That doesn’t mean you’re not my mother’s secret lover.”

“I’m not your mother’s - keep your voice down, please.” The man was blushing furiously.

Minhyuk bit back laughter.

“In the future you and I are friends,” the man said. “I’m twenty-three, and in the time I came from, you’re twenty-one.”

Minhyuk eyed the man. “Would I be friends with someone so pretty?”

“In the future, you’re plenty handsome yourself,” the man said.

Dongmin. He’d said his name was Dongmin.

“Am I big and strong?” Minhyuk asked.

“Strong, but you’re not nearly as tall as me,” Dongmin said.

Minhyuk pouted. “I’m going to be a soldier when I grow up.”

“I know.” Dongmin sounded almost sad.

“Soldiers protect us,” Minhyuk protested.

“I know,” Dongmin said again.

Minhyuk narrowed his eyes. “You said you weren’t a communist.”

“I’m not. I believe in democracy and freedom. I’m a medical student. I want to be a doctor and help people. I just -” Dongmin looked away. 

Minhyuk scooted closer to Dongmin. “If you’re from the future, have you seen when I die?”

“No,” Dongmin said. “I haven’t. And I wouldn’t want to. Like I said, you’re my friend. My best friend.”

“Oh. Sorry.” Minhyuk didn’t add that Jeunggeun was his best friend and always would be. Brothers were everything. “How did we meet? You have a funny accent.”

“I’m from Gunpo. It’s close to Seoul. We met at university. Sort of.” Dongmin smiled at him.

“Well, if we’re friends, you know I help my grandpa with fishing, so you can help me fish.” Minhyuk rolled up his sleeves and reached for the nets.

Dongmin reached into his sleeve for laces to tie up his sleeves, and then he waded into the water with Minhyuk to reach for the nets with him.

They worked till the sun had crept halfway toward high noon. Dongmin wasn’t a very good fisherman, but he worked hard, and he didn’t complain.

And then Minhyuk looked over to offer the canteen, and Dongmin was gone, a pile of clothes on the riverbank where he’d been standing.

“Hyung,” Jeunggeun said, sitting up in the boat and rubbing his eyes, “I had a weird dream. You were talking to a ghost.”

“It was a weird dream,” Minhyuk said quietly.

He finished gathering in the nets, gathered up the catch in the buckets, folded up the clothes, and took Jeunggeun, the buckets, and the clothes home.

* * *

The only saving grace to Dongmin blinking out of his apartment when he should have been studying was that he was finally taking a study break. Minhyuk and Bin had both been telling him to take a break and he had been telling him he couldn’t afford one, and now -

Now he was taking one.

He recognized this stretch of river. He’d been to Jinju so many times, and he remembered fishing alongside ten-year-old Minhyuk here, among other things. It had only been a few weeks ago. For Minhyuk, it had been over a decade ago.

_ I got into so much trouble for getting Cousin Hangyeol’s hanbok dirty, _ he said.  _ My mother chased me around the house with her slipper for an hour. _

Dongmin ducked into some undergrowth and scanned his surroundings. There was no one about. He scanned the sky. It was still early in the day. The sun was just barely creeping over the horizon. The small pier was familiar. A rickety little rowboat was tied to the pier. Would Jeunggeun be asleep there again?

Dongmin craned his neck, and there was Minhyuk, sitting on the river bank, kicking his feet idly in the water, dexterous hands repairing fishing nets.

Dongmin let out a bird whistle.

Minhyuk turned.

Dongmin whistled again.

Minhyuk’s eyes went wide.

“Over here!” Dongmin hissed.

“You’re not a ghost,” Minhyuk said.

“A ghost? No! I told you. I’m - I’m magic.” Dongmin winced at the explanation. 

Minhyuk looked to be about twelve now and would be unimpressed by such a condescending explanation. Minhyuk dropped the net and pushed himself to his feet. He hurried over to the boat and rifled around, came up with an armful of clothes, a pair of trousers and a shirt, tough worker denim and sun-bleached cotton.

“Here,” Minhyuk said. “Put these on.”

He was taller now, still a far cry from the man Dongmin knew and loved, but boyish and sweet, and it was fun to see the beginnings of the man he would become, the seriousness in his dark eyes, his cute nose, his high cheekbones, his baby teeth in his smile.

“I thought you were a ghost or a dream, but just in case, I’ve been keeping clothes,” Minhyuk said. “Um...I’ll have to get you some food, but I have some water.”

Always with the canteen. Dongmin had thought it was an affectation because Minhyuk wanted to be a soldier because he had something to prove, but his grandfather and father had been soldiers, and it was a tradition and a way of life for him: hard work, combat.

And canteens.

“Bring paper and a pen,” Dongmin said.

Minhyuk nodded, wide-eyed and solemn. He was made to be a soldier, so obedient and unquestioning - sometimes.

Dongmin pulled on the clothes and accepted the canteen, sank down beside the river, while Minhyuk scampered back to the house.

He returned with more of his mother’s famous kimbap and a pair of chopsticks, as well as a piece of paper and a pen, and he watched solemnly while Dongmin ate.

Once Dongmin was finished eating, he accepted the paper and pen, and he wrote.

“What are you writing?” Minhyuk asked, craning his neck a little but too polite to stare too much, since Dongmin was an adult.

“A list,” Dongmin said, “of all the times you and I will meet whenever I travel through time.”

Minhyuk’s eyes went wide. “So you really are magic?” 

“I don’t think it’s really magic,” Dongmin said. “I think it’s science I just don’t understand yet. That no one understands yet.”

Minhyuk scooted a little closer to Dongmin. “You have really pretty handwriting.”

People had said that to Dongmin many times - his parents, classmates, teachers - but this was the first time it had made him feel quite this good. Maybe because Minhyuk was young and a relative stranger and Dongmin knew the compliment was sincere.

“That’s a really long list,” Minhyuk said. He looked up at Dongmin. “The last time we met, you said we were best friends. Is it because I’m the only person you see when you travel through time? Or because I’m the only person who knows you travel through time? It’s probably hard, isn’t it? If other people think you’re weird for missing school or meetings or skipping parties because you’re in the past or the future.”

Dongmin’s hand stilled. Even this young, this reserved and shy, Minhyuk had such a good heart. He was marching toward hiding it behind a soldier’s armor, but -

“Yeah,” he said. “That’s why we’re best friends. You’ll always be Jeunggeun’s best friend, but you’re my best friend.”

Minhyuk smiled, dimpled and sweet, and Dongmin’s chest tightened.

“Keep this list safe, all right? So you know where to find me and help protect me when I fall through time. Sometimes it’s in winter, and if it’s cold and I have no clothes -”

Minhyuk nodded. “Of course.” 

He offered a salute, and he looked adorably solemn, and Dongmin couldn’t help but smile.

Once the list was finished, Dongmin surrendered it to Minhyuk, who accepted it with a polite bow, and then he read it carefully before he folded it and tucked it into his breast pocket with a pat, and then it was time to help repair the nets.

Minhyuk reached out and showed Dongmin how to tie the knots. At twelve his hands were almost as big as Dongmin’s already, rough and calloused, strong and sure, but gentle. He was patient.

“You have soft hands,” Minhyuk said. “You said you’re a medical student?”

Dongmin nodded.

“You’re going to be a really great doctor.”

“I hope so.”

“You haven’t been to the future to see?”

“No.”

“Have you seen if I become a good soldier?”

“I’m only twenty-three. We’re both still students, basically.”

“I’m a student?”

“Officers have to be educated. You’re not going to be an ordinary footsoldier,” Dongmin said.

Minhyuk looked pleased, but he didn’t stop weaving the net. “I won’t lose the list,” he said. “I’ll remember it. I’ll make copies, just in case. I’ll have food and clothes. I promise. I’ll be your best friend.”

“I know,” Dongmin said. “Thank you. In advance.”

Again with that sweet, dimpled smile.

Minhyuk said, “You’re getting good at this fast. You’re really smart. No wonder you’re going to be a doctor.”

Dongmin said again, “Thank you.”

They worked until the sun was high in the sky, and they broke for some more water and some army stew and kimchi fried rice smuggled from the kitchen.

Then they sprawled on the riverbank and dozed.

When Dongmin opened his eyes, he was back in his apartment, and he missed the sunlight. He missed Minhyuk more, even though Minhyuk was studying in the next room.

* * *

When the bell rang signaling the end of lunch break, Minhyuk ducked away from the rest of his classmates and headed for the bike shed. He climbed onto the roof of the shed, jumped over the wall, and ran down the alley as fast as he could.

He made it to the river just in time. Why Dongmin always arrived at the river, neither of them knew. Dongmin said he tended to land in places that he had strong emotional ties to; as a child, he’d often landed at a kind neighbor’s house, and she’d often had clothes and food for him.

Minhyuk figured that maybe because the first place they’d met was the river it was an important place in their relationship, so that was why Dongmin always appeared near the little dock where Grandpa kept his little rowboat.

The boat was handy as it made for a good storage space for clothes and food in the off chance that Dongmin arrived before Minhyuk could make it there. Ever since Minhyuk had turned twelve, he’d seen Dongmin regularly. Sometimes Dongmin was as old as twenty-three, sometimes he was as young as seventeen, sometimes he was somewhere in between. All summer break, Minhyuk and Dongmin had been able to hang out, fishing and swimming in the river, and Dongmin had been nineteen or eighteen, so it had been fun, like having a big brother, and Minhyuk could see why they’d be best friends once they were in university.

But goodness gracious, Dongmin was handsome. So handsome. Beautiful, even. His face was perfect, really. One time Mother had glimpsed Dongmin from a distance when she’d come to call Minhyuk in for supper when Dongmin had been able to stay for an unusually long time, and Minhyuk had been regretful, because usually they got to hang out until Dongmin popped back to whatever time he came from, but of course Minhyuk couldn’t disobey his mother.

“Who’s that?”

“Just a sunbae from school.”

“He’s very handsome.  _ Very _ handsome. He must be very popular with the girls at school.”

“He’s shy.”

“What’s his name?”

Minhyuk wasn’t a very good liar.“Lee Dongmin.”

“Well - you should emulate him, how he takes care of his skin and hair.”

“Yes, Mother.”

“He could stand to dress a bit better, though. He dresses like he wears Cousin Hangyeol’s cast-offs.”

“I’ll tell him, Mother.”

Minhyuk hadn’t told Dongmin that, since usually Dongmin had no choice but to wear Cousin Hangyeol’s cast-offs, since Minhyuk made no actual money helping Grandpa with the fishing and couldn’t afford to buy a whole second wardrobe for Dongmin, especially not one in multiple sizes.

Spending all summer with Dongmin had been fun, but also it had made Minhyuk a little sad, crossing meetings off the list Dongmin had given him. The list had to be incomplete, of course. Dongmin had been only twenty-three when he’d made it. He’d have to make a new list in a few years. The list still had plenty of dates on it for the next couple of years, though, and Minhyuk didn’t mind skipping school here and there.

Besides, once they reached university, Minhyuk would be able to spend time with Dongmin in the present, not just when he was skipping through time. Would he be sad when Dongmin was traveling through time? 

No, he ought not to worry about that. He had to hurry to meet Dongmin now, before someone spotted him and called the police because some crazy flasher was about. Hopefully this Dongmin knew the routine by now, about finding the clothes in the boat. Even though Minhyuk knew the routine, Dongmin didn’t always know the routine.

Minhyuk ran along the riverbank to the dock where the boat bobbed, and he paused, let out the bird whistle that Dongmin had used the second time they’d met. It was their signal now.

Sure enough, there was a reply.

Dongmin poked his head out from behind a bush.

“Hey, you’re here. I hid some clothes and food in the boat, like always,” Minhyuk said, smiling.

Dongmin blinked at him. “Like always?” He had his arms crossed tightly over his chest, clearly nervous about being naked. 

He was naked so often but had never stopped being nervous about it.

Minhyuk slowed down, tried to catch his breath. “How old are you?”

“Seventeen. Um...who are you?”

“Park Minhyuk,” he said slowly.

Dongmin’s eyes went wide. “Oh! From the university library. We met about a week ago? Only you - you were older. How old are you?”

“Sixteen,” Minhyuk said. “How old was the version of me you met?”

“Twenty-one,” Dongmin said. 

“Interesting,” Minhyuk murmured. He reached into his pocket for his wallet, reached into his wallet for the list, and unfolded it. He circled the meeting on the list for the university library for when he was twenty-one and Dongmin was seventeen, because that was important. He’d have to remember to be gentle with Dongmin then, maybe make some of his favorite food, be sure to win his trust. “Well, wait here. If you ever come to the river again, see that little dock over there? With the rowboat tied up? I leave clothes and food in there for you. In case I can’t make it here to meet you.”

“Right. Because an older version of me gave you a list of times we meet.”

Minhyuk nodded. He went to fetch clothes for Dongmin to put on, and then he waited while Dongmin dressed.

They sat on the dock while Dongmin ate. Something about traveling through time always made him hungry even if he hadn’t already been hungry before he got sucked through the space-time continuum.

Even though Minhyuk wasn’t destined for a life of science and medicine like Dongmin, he’d learned what he could about the (theoretical) science behind time travel, just in case. Up till now, Dongmin had always been lucky not to land in front of a moving car or train or in the middle of an ocean, but Minhyuk had never been able to shake the notion that one day Dongmin would land somewhere that could kill him. Dongmin had never mentioned it, but he had to have the same concern.

Dongmin looked over at Minhyuk, took in his uniform. “You’re skipping school?”

“To see you? Of course.”

“But - school.”

“Spoken like a future medical student. It’s just one day.” Minhyuk tipped his head back and closed his eyes, basking in the sun. “What do you want to do today? I never know how long you’re going to be here, so we can do whatever you want. Or nothing at all, if that’s what you want. I know sometimes you just need a break from all your crazy studying.”

“Are we friends?”

Minhyuk opened his eyes and turned to Dongmin, startled by the hesitation in his voice. He wasn’t used to hearing Dongmin sound so unsure.

“Future you always tells me we’re best friends, at least by the time we reach university. Why?”

“It’s just - I don’t have very many friends now,” Dongmin said. 

“What did twenty-one-year-old me tell you?”

“Not much.” Dongmin shrugged. “He really didn’t make a lot of sense. He said some weird stuff, like how  _ fate _ and  _ meant to be _ aren’t the same thing.”

Minhyuk wrinkled his nose. “That is weird.” Then he shrugged. “Whatever. So, do you just want to relax, or…?”

“Swimming would be nice,” Dongmin said, looking out over the river wistfully.

“There are swim trunks in the boat.” Minhyuk started unbuttoning his shirt.

Dongmin’s eyes went wide. “What? What are you doing?”

“We - me and future you - went swimming a bunch of times over summer break, so I started keeping swimming trunks in the boat for us,” Minhyuk said. “I won’t look when you change. You’re such a prude. All you city boys are.”

He rolled his eyes and turned away while Dongmin hunkered down in the rowboat and changed, then took his turn to change.

“You really have met me before.” Dongmin looked a little awed at the notion. 

“Lots of times. I consider us friends,” Minhyuk said. “Let’s swim!”

Dongmin didn’t need much encouragement, and so they splashed and played to their hearts’ content.

Newly-seventeen Dongmin wasn’t much different from almost-eighteen Dongmin. They raced, and they wrestled, and they floated lazily, and when they were tired they crawled up on the bank and dried themselves in the sun. They snacked on the dried nuts and fruit Minhyuk had stashed in the boat, and they drained and refilled the canteen several times over. 

When it got too hot, they sprawled in the shade.

“I’ve been here for a really long time,” Dongmin said. “I can’t remember the last time I was anywhere for so long.”

Minhyuk hummed thoughtfully. “I only know of one other time you were here all day - so long that I had to leave you when Mother called me home for supper. You were gone when I came back after, though. I was sad. I like to say goodbye. Although sometimes you just poof and disappear when I’m not looking. That makes me sad, too.”

Dongmin turned to him. “Think we’re best friends? In the future.”

“Future you says so. I believe it. I really like hanging out with you. What do you think?” Minhyuk studied Dongmin. He couldn’t remember the last time they’d almost been eye-to-eye like this. He could count Dongmin’s eyelashes, see just how smooth his skin was. This was the first time they’d really been almost the same age.

Dongmin swallowed hard. “Well, future you said - you said,  _ ‘Some things are fated to happen, but some loves are not meant to be.’” _

“What does that even mean?”

“I don’t know,” Dongmin said in a small voice. “Future you is very handsome, though.”

Dongmin looked - afraid. And so unlike the calm, confident Dongmin who Minhyuk knew. Teenage Dongmin was, understandably, less confident than adult Dongmin, but Minhyuk had never seen Dongmin look afraid like this. Minhyuk knew Dongmin didn’t really have any other friends besides Minhyuk until university, and even then in university only Minhyuk knew about Dongmin’s propensity for involuntary time travel, so for all that Dongmin was intelligent and handsome and competent, he was still vulnerable when it came to his emotions.

“Well, you, Lee Dongmin, no matter what time you’re from, you’re beautiful,” Minhyuk said.

Dongmin bit his lip. “If - if I like boys the way most boys like girls, can we still be best friends?” He scooted away from Minhyuk as he spoke the words, already anticipating rejection.

Minhyuk reached and put a hand on Dongmin’s arm, stilling him. “Nothing will stop us from being best friends,” he said.

“If - if I like you, can we still be best friends? You don’t have to like me back. I know I’ve only met you twice, but you’re so handsome and nice and -”

“Dongmin, breathe.”

Dongmin took a breath.

“Dongmin, may I kiss you?”

Dongmin nodded, and Minhyuk leaned in.

Their lips met, and suddenly being best friends was not nearly enough.

Minhyuk wrapped his arms around Dongmin and pulled him close, held him and kissed him softly. 

Eventually they ran out of breath, and they lay curled on the grass, gazing at each other.

“You think this is what future me meant, when he told you we were best friends?” Dongmin asked.

“I think maybe future you was just waiting till I was, you know, older to tell me that maybe we were more than best friends,” Minhyuk said. “After all, the first time I met you, I was ten and you were twenty-three.”

“Future you mentioned that.” Dongmin’s expression turned sober. “What do you think future you meant, then, when he said that some things are fated to happen but some loves are not meant to be?”

Minhyuk felt his chest tighten at Dongmin’s very worried expression. “I think future me knows how hard it is, for boys like us to be together. But future me isn’t final me, now is he? Don’t worry about it too much. I’m here, and you’re here, so...let’s just enjoy the time we have.”

“Okay. What should we do?”

Minhyuk honestly didn’t know what two boys could do, besides kissing. He’d heard plenty of what boys and girls could get up to, from his classmates. Maybe older medical student Dongmin knew. Well, surely he knew if he and Minhyuk’s future self were together.

Dongmin said, shyly, “Can I kiss you again?”

Minhyuk smiled. “You can kiss me all you want.”

They were smart and dragged the boat up onto the grass to create a shade - and a space where no passers-by could see them. It wasn’t an uncommon sight, small rowboats up on the bank to dry off, maybe so people could scrape them clean once in a while; no one would pay them any mind.

They even spread their clothes and towels to dry on the grass for added distraction (but not Minhyuk’s uniform, because that would just get Minhyuk in trouble).

And then they curled together in the shade and kissed until Dongmin disappeared from Minhyuk’s arms.

After, Minhyuk lay on the grass, heart aching but smiling. He couldn’t wait to see Dongmin again.

* * *

Dongmin staggered to a stop against a brick wall in a dark alley. The ground was sticky with several smelly substances he didn’t want to think about.

“Halt! Who goes there!”

A spotlight blinded him.

There was shouting. A whistle. A barking dog.

Dongmin knew the sound of those jackboots. Military, not regular police.

Dammit. Where the hell was he?  _ When _ the hell was he?

“Run!” 

Someone grabbed Dongmin’s wrist and tugged.

He let himself be dragged into the shadows and out of the searchlight, down several more alleys, through some dizzying twists and turns before he and his rescuer halted behind a cluster of garbage cans.

There was only one person his rescuer could be.

“Put these clothes on. And these shoes. Are your feet cut?”

It was Minhyuk.

Dongmin glanced over at him. “Thank you.”

Oh hell. Minhyuk didn’t look a day over eighteen. He already had a military-style haircut, which meant he’d already applied for and possibly been accepted to the military academy. He’d be headed there as soon as he finished high school.

“My feet are gross but I’m uninjured. What year is it?”

Minhyuk told him.

“What time is it?”

Minhyuk told him.

Dongmin swore. “We’re out after curfew! If they catch us -”

“Did you think I was just going to leave you to be caught by them? Hurry up!”

Dongmin finished pulling on the clothes and shoes, and they took off running once more. The sound of boots and dogs and whistles and shouting in the background was terrifying. Despite all this, Minhyuk was still determined to join the military, because he still believed in the protection it offered, in the safety it provided for the country.

Minhyuk didn’t know about the chaos that was coming.

“Come on, there’s a space down this way where we can hide. It’s smelly enough that the dogs will probably pass us by. You might be able to stomach some plain rice, at least,” Minhyuk said. 

He led Dongmin down another alley, and they hunkered down on a pile of wooden pallets.

Minhyuk had some triangle kimbap that he surrendered, and Dongmin wolfed it down without gagging too much.

Even though Minhyuk definitely had questions, he didn’t ask, because Dongmin had to eat as fast as he could so they could move on. Were they in Jinju? They weren’t by the river, but it was so dark, and Dongmin didn’t recognize anything.

He finished eating what he could and dusted a few grains of sticky rice off his hands. “Let’s go.”

“This way.” Minhyuk started to scale a chain-link fence. “How old are you?”

“Twenty. Where are we?”

“In Seoul.”

_ “Seoul?  _ What are we doing here? How did you get here?”

“I was on the list you gave me, so here I am. I’ve missed you.” Minhyuk turned to him. 

Even in the dim light, his gaze was feverishly bright. 

What had happened since the last visit? Dongmin’s visits with Minhyuk were chaotic, sometimes when Minhyuk was twelve or thirteen or fifteen or twenty-one. If Minhyuk was eighteen, what had his last visit with Dongmin been like?

Dongmin considered as he hauled himself up the fence.

Oh. His and Minhyuk’s first kiss had been when Minhyuk was sixteen. Dongmin had been seventeen, and when Dongmin had been eighteen and nineteen he and Minhyuk had -

“Hang on, I’m twenty now, we can’t -”

“We can at least kiss, can’t we? I’ve missed you.” Minhyuk pouted, and damn, his mouth.

“There are soldiers with dogs chasing us. Let’s at least get somewhere indoors.”

Minhyuk nodded. “I’ve heard of a few small hotels where if we can get inside they’ll cover for us.”

“There they are!”

The spotlight came down on them.

Dongmin made a decision. He pushed Minhyuk up over the fence. “Run!”

“But -”

“Go!”

“Come with me!”

“I’ll be fine. You know I will. You have the list!”

“Hyung -”

A dog snarled and snapped at Dongmin’s heels.

The familiar tingling of forced time travel had never been so welcome before.

* * *

Minhyuk sat at the kitchen table, watching the second hand on the wall clock ticking by. He had The List on the table in front of him, even though he’d had it memorized for years, mostly on account of compulsively making copies of it in case it became destroyed or the other copies got lost or something.

There was no point in watching the clock, really, because Dongmin didn’t know the exact times of his time-jumps. Even if he knew the exact times of his departures, he rarely knew the exact times of his arrivals. He rarely remembered how long the visits lasted. If he remembered the visit at all, that usually meant the visit was significant, lasted long enough.

Enough.

Minhyuk looked down at the list and swallowed hard. For the sake of building the list, they’d established certain protocols of Dongmin asking the date and location and Minhyuk’s age. After today’s visit, Minhyuk wouldn’t see Dongmin for two years. Dongmin would continue to see Minhyuk, but for Minhyuk, it would be two years of nothing.

Of loneliness.

He’d go off to the military academy and train hard and wait.

The knowledge that when he next met Dongmin it’d be in real life, in the present for both of them, was cold comfort. The knowledge that the next time he met a time-jumping Dongmin it’d be Dongmin’s first time meeting him was nerve-wracking. He had to get that meeting right. Make Dongmin’s favorite food. Be friendly and helpful and non-threatening.

There was a strange popping sound, almost like a thunderclap, if a thunderclap were a whisper, and Dongmin was standing in the middle of the kitchen, naked and panting. Minhyuk had never actually seen Dongmin make the jump before.

Dongmin wrapped his arms around himself with a yelp and immediately ducked under the table.

“It’s fine,” Minhyuk said. “The house is empty except for me.”

Dongmin, Minhyuk knew, was the same age as Minhyuk, nineteen. This was the only time they’d be the same age, ever, according to the list.

Dongmin peeked up over the edge of the table. “Really?”

“Yeah. Jeunggeun is out playing soccer with friends. Mother and Father are off visiting Uncle Sungho, so it’s just you and me.” Minhyuk nodded to the folded clothes on the corner of the table.

“Oh. Well, that’s convenient. I’ve never been inside your house before. Do you know if future me ever visits here?” Dongmin straightened up and pulled on the clothes.

“He’s never mentioned it.” Minhyuk admired Dongmin’s smooth golden skin, his lean muscles. Ever since that first kiss, if they were the right ages, they’d kiss and touch and explore, though never go too far, given that they usually had little privacy or time, and Dongmin had finally accepted how beautiful he was, and he was beautifully unselfconscious for Minhyuk.

Minhyuk rested his chin in his hand and smiled faintly to himself.

“What?” Dongmin asked, smoothing down the shirt. He slid into the seat opposite Minhyuk.

“Hm? I didn’t say anything.”

“You didn’t have to. I know your face. You look - amused. Is this color all wrong for me?” Dongmin joked.

Minhyuk had gone out of his way to have nice clothes for Dongmin’s visit. “Eat up.” He nodded at the pair of chopsticks beside Dongmin’s bowl.

Dongmin said, “I’ll eat lots,” automatically, and paused, looked at all of the food laid out on the table. “This is a lot of food. This is a whole meal.”

“You’re always hungry when you arrive, but we’ve never eaten a meal together,” Minhyuk said. “So I cooked.”

“You can cook?”

“Cooking is a useful survival skill,” Minhyuk said loftily. 

Shadows flickered in Dongmin’s gaze for a moment. “Well, I feel special.” He dug into some rice, and once he’d served himself, Minhyuk started to eat as well.

While they ate, they talked about how Dongmin was doing in school, how Minhyuk was doing. Of course Dongmin asked what the date was, how old Minhyuk was.

“We’re the same age! This has never happened before.” Dongmin lit up, his smile so bright, his eyes crinkling into half moons, and Minhyuk’s heart hurt at how beautiful he was.

“I know,” Minhyuk said. “When do you graduate?”

“In a few months. You?”

“I already graduated. It’s spring break, and then I head off to the academy.”

Dongmin paused and really looked at Minhyuk. “Ah. Your haircut. I should have noticed. I missed your birthday again. I’m sorry.”

Minhyuk shrugged. “You don’t have to apologize. It’s not like you can control when you come to me.”

“This food is really good though. You’re a good cook.”

“Thank you. I learned a lot from my mother, over the years. I still can’t quite make kimbap like she can.” Minhyuk sipped from his glass of water. He couldn’t remember the last time - if ever - he’d spent time with Dongmin and he’d drunk out of anything but a canteen.

“So, what do you want to do while everyone is gone?” Dongmin asked. “Is the weather bad outside?”

Minhyuk held up the vial of oil he’d gone to great pains to acquire without anyone he knew finding out. It hadn’t been expensive, but finding out what to buy and where to buy it and then what kind - there had been a startling array of options - had been very complicated and nerve-wracking indeed. “We’re both nineteen. The house is ours all night.”

Dongmin fumbled his chopsticks, eyes wide. “You mean you want to -” He coughed and grabbed his glass of water, drank deeply, coughed again to clear his throat. He was blushing furiously.

Minhyuk nodded.

“But - we’re only nineteen. We’re both -”

“We’re  _ both _ nineteen,” Minhyuk said. “And this will be the last time I see you for two years. I want to remember you. All of you.”

“Two years?” Dongmin asked.

Minhyuk pushed the list toward him.

Dongmin leaned in and read it closely. “But - there could be visits missing from the list.”

“Any visit missing from the list is too brief or chaotic to be meaningful,” Minhyuk said quietly. “I would know. But if you don’t want to, we don’t have to. We could walk down by the river, go fishing, or go into town and buy ice cream, or -”

Dongmin said, “Eat up. You’ll need your strength.” He was still blushing, but there was heat in his gaze. Then he cleared his throat. “Do you, ah, know what to do?”

“The hyungnim who ran the store where I bought the supplies was kind enough to explain in detail,” Minhyuk said. He set the oil down and dug into his food.

They finished the meal and cleaned up the kitchen together. Even though Minhyuk didn’t much like washing dishes, there was something oddly domestic about doing the chore together. In the future, did they live together? Did they cook and clean together? At the end of a hard day of studying - and training, for Minhyuk - did they get to stand side by side like this after a meal and just  _ be _ together?

“What if your brother comes home?” Dongmin asked as he dried the last dish and added it to the stack of clean dishes.

“He plans on sleeping over at a friend’s house,” Minhyuk said. “And my parents are staying at my uncle’s house. If you’re nervous, we really don’t -”

“Two years can seem like a long time,” Dongmin said. “And we’re almost of age. And - and I love you, and I know you love me, so -”

Minhyuk felt his heart race. “You love me?”

“I’ve told you before,” Dongmin said. 

Minhyuk bit his lip and looked away.

Dongmin caught his chin, leaned in to meet his gaze. “Haven’t I?”

“You said it just now, and that’s what matters,” Minhyuk said.

Dongmin sighed. “I know I  _ think _ it all the time. I love you, Park Minhyuk. And I’m not just saying that because we’re going to -”

Minhyuk leaned up on his toes and silenced Dongmin with a kiss. He needed no apologies or explanations. For all that Dongmin was constantly traveling through time, they never had enough time, and Minhyuk didn’t want to waste another second.

Dongmin kissed him back, pressed him against the sink, and things turned heated quickly, Dongmin sneaking his hands under Minhyuk’s shirt, rocking his hips against Minhyuk’s thigh.

“My bedroom is this way,” Minhyuk said, catching Dongmin by the wrist and dragging him out of the kitchen.

Even though everyone else was gone, Minhyuk closed his door and locked it, locked the windows and closed the blinds. Then he tumbled back onto the bed and pulled Dongmin on top of him, reveled in his solid weight, his presence. They kissed some more, long and slow and luxurious. 

For once Minhyuk wasn’t going to worry about whether they had enough time, if Dongmin was going to suddenly disappear or someone was going to discover them. They had all night, because this night would have to last Minhyuk two years, and he was going to savor every second. He was going to savor every kiss and every touch, every inch of Dongmin’s skin and the tang of his sweat, the way he ducked his head and blushed as Minhyuk peeled him out of his clothes, the heat in his gaze when Minhyuk peeled out of his own clothes, the way he bit his lip to hold back a moan when Minhyuk reached between his legs and stroked the hot, hard flesh there with a boldness they’d never been allowed before.

“Are you ready?” Minhyuk asked.

“If you are.”

Minhyuk said, “I love you,” and handed Dongmin the vial of oil.

Dongmin unstoppered it, hands shaking. “Teach me what to do.”

After, curling together and just  _ being _ as both of them came down from the adrenaline rush of orgasm was perfect. Minhyuk wanted to stay this way forever. They both drowsed a little, but then they began to get chilly, and they retreated under the blankets and sheets. 

Minhyuk snuggled close to Dongmin, tucked under his chin, listening to his heart.

“Two years isn’t that long,” Dongmin said.

Minhyuk remembered that Dongmin’s mother had died when he was five. 

“I know I’ll see you again,” Minhyuk said. “But I’ll miss you every day. You’ll see me, but I won’t see you. For two whole years.”

“I’m sorry,” Dongmin said. “I wish -”

“Don’t apologize. I know you can’t control it.” Minhyuk lifted his head and gazed into Dongmin’s eyes. “Thank you for being here with me, tonight, like this. For loving me.”

Dongmin said, “I will love you for all my life, for  _ forever,  _ for -”

Minhyuk kissed him - and felt him vanish.

He couldn’t even cry. He just lay in the darkness and told himself he had seven hundred and thirty days till he saw Dongmin again.

* * *

Twenty-one-year-old Minhyuk hadn’t been lying when he’d told Dongmin that he had plenty of friends in his classes at university. Where students didn’t take all their classes together, weren’t in such a tight unit like a homeroom, people didn’t notice that Dongmin was a bit strange, tended to vanish here and there, so between Dongmin’s natural intelligence and his good looks, he was quite popular, and while he wasn’t particularly close with all that many people, he did have plenty of friends.

Kim Myungjun was very bright, studying to be an architect, and they had a mathematics class together. Where Myungjun was loud and had definitely been a class clown in high school, he had a razor-sharp intellect behind his infectious laughter, and when it came time to buckle down and study, he worked hard. 

Park Jinwoo was quieter, slow to speak but quick to think, and he was studying law. Though he was quiet he was a natural leader, managed to mediate the disputes that tended to arise as a result of Myungjun’s quick mouth and Moon Bin’s rather sensitive nature, and Dongmin thought that with someone like Jinwoo in charge, their country would become a better place.

Moon Bin wasn’t the kind of person Dongmin had ever expected to be friends with. They were more or less the same age, and they were both hot-tempered, but beyond that they had little in common. Moon Bin was attending the military academy for officer training and was part of a pilot program where he lived in a regular apartment with civilian roommates, one of whom was Myungjun, as well as fellow officers in training. Moon Bin liked food, sleeping, and working out. He seemed incredibly lazy, but for the things he cared about he was incredibly disciplined.

He was handsome, though, and very sweet, and very popular with the ladies, and he was always trying to convince Dongmin to come out for drinks with him, because as a pair they’d be unstoppable.

“No, thank you,” Dongmin said. “I need to study.”

Bin rolled his eyes. “You’re so disciplined. You’re no fun. You know what - I know someone who you’ll be best friends with. You’re perfect for each other. He’s just as uptight as you are. He’s about to be one of my new roommates. You should move in with us, to balance out the soldier-civilian ratio.”

The thought of living with someone who lived and breathed the military lifestyle the way Dongmin lived and breathed his studies seemed like a very poor choice. And Dongmin had to live alone anyway. If he had roommates, they’d find out about his time jumps, and it would be a disaster, and then he’d be back to having no friends - if he didn’t end up in a lab somewhere.

“Just come take a look at the apartment and meet him and think about it.” Bin slung an arm across Dongmin’s shoulders and leaned in, crooning in his ear in a way that might be seen as flirtatious, but Dongmin knew soldiers had a certain closeness that was beyond the norm but that was also necessary.

After all, they had to be willing to die for each other - and kill for each other.

“I’ll come look,” Dongmin said, shaking Bin’s arm off.

Bin grinned, and the sweetness of his grin made Dongmin sigh.

“And I’ll meet your new roommate.”

“Honestly, I think you’ll like him,” Bin said. “When I first met him, he reminded me of you. He’s so focused. He’s the best at everything he does - best fighter, best runner, best shooter. And he’s smart. He sees things from so many different angles. He’s going to be an amazing officer.”

Dongmin was pretty sure he wouldn’t like Bin’s new roommate one bit.

The apartment Bin lived in was pretty nice, but then Bin was an officer in training, and where the military ruled the country, the military took care of their own. If Dongmin lived with them, the cost of his rent would be significantly lower, and he’d be much more comfortable.

“Myungjun lives upstairs in the biggest room, because he’s the eldest, and I’m the second eldest, so I also live upstairs,” Bin said. “This is the kitchen and the den, and there are two bedrooms on the first floor.”

The apartment was well-furnished, and the den and kitchen were one large open space. It would be comfortable living. The room that could be Dongmin’s had a large window that overlooked the street. Dongmin did like natural light for studying.

Bin reached out and knocked on the other door, which was closed.

“Hey, come meet our new roommate.”

Dongmin hissed. “Yah, I never said -”

The door swung open, and there was Park Minhyuk, twenty-one years old and looking just like Dongmin remembered from the first time they’d met when Dongmin was seventeen.

Minhyuk’s eyes widened slightly, and he went utterly still.

Then his lips parted, and he sucked in a shuddering breath. “Lee Dongmin.”

Bin blinked. “You two know each other?”

“It’s been two years,” Minhyuk said. “Seven-hundred and thirty days. For you, two years isn’t a very long time, but for me, it was a lifetime.”

Dongmin reached out, curled a hand around Minhyuk’s wrist. “I’m so sorry. If two years is a long time, then -”

“No matter. Two years have passed, and you’re here now.”

“Wait.” Bin looked back and forth between them. “When you were crossing off days on your calendar and counting down two years, I thought that was till you were able to move out of the barracks. You were waiting two years for...him?”

Dongmin tried to think of a polite way to tell Bin to get lost.

Minhyuk said, “You know about Myungjun-hyung.”

“What about Myungjun-hyung?” Bin asked. “He’s a very loud and busy person.”

Minhyuk said, “You know that he’s never going to get married.”

Bin winced. “Ah. That. I know.”

“You don’t mind, do you?” Minhyuk asked.

Dongmin couldn’t take his eyes off of Minhyuk. Even though he’d seen Minhyuk a few days ago, Minhyuk who was fifteen and fishing by the river in Jinju, this was different. This was Minhyuk in the here and now, Minhyuk who he could be with, come home to, Minhyuk who he could  _ keep. _

“Not really. Why?” Bin asked.

Minhyuk surged forward, and Dongmin met him halfway, and the kiss felt like falling through time and landing in the present at the same time.

When they finally parted for air, they didn’t let go of each other, clutching each other close, gazing into each other’s eyes.

“You’re here,” Minhyuk said.

Dongmin nodded. “I’m here.  _ Now. _ And I’m real. And I’m not going anywhere. Not really.”

And Minhyuk smiled, wide and bright and dimpled, and Dongmin had to kiss him again.

“Damn,” Bin said. “No wonder you worked so hard for two years. It was all pent-up frustration, wasn’t it?”

Dongmin and Minhyuk finally separated and composed themselves.

Bin eyed Dongmin. “I guess this is why you always refused to come to the bars with me to pick up girls.”

“I do study very hard,” Dongmin said.

“Does this mean you’ll be our roommate, though?”

Dongmin nodded, and Bin grinned.

“Great! Just - when you two, you know, keep it down. The rule applies to everyone.”

Dongmin blushed. “Of course. We will be very careful.”

They had to be.

Myungjun was very accepting, as was Jinwoo, but they still had to be careful, especially around Bin and Minhyuk’s academy acquaintances. But they were together, and it was perfect. At the end of the day they came home, they made a meal together, they washed up together, and then they fell asleep together.

Sometimes Dongmin vanished, and Minhyuk helped cover for him. Dongmin helped Minhyuk learn to make his favorite beef potstickers in anticipation of seventeen-year-old Dongmin’s first meeting with Minhyuk in the library, which still hadn’t occurred.

Dongmin had thought that living with Minhyuk like this would be bliss, that having Minhyuk in the present as his anchor as he tumbled through time would be perfect, but it wasn’t perfect.

After all, he didn’t always visit Minhyuk when he went falling through time.

And as much as he loved Minhyuk’s passion and dedication - and enjoyed the fruits of Minhyuk’s physical labor when they were in bed together - he hated it when Minhyuk rolled out of bed early to go do PT with Bin, and when he saw Minhyuk in uniform, and when Minhyuk reached for him and his hands smelled of gunpowder.

Dongmin fell through time and landed in Gwangju. He was only a medical student, not a full-on doctor. There was chaos, screaming. He did his best to help where he could, but he failed, and people died, and even if he’d done everything right people would have still died and -

And when he landed back at the apartment, Bin and Minhyuk were in the kitchen. Dongmin was lucky to land in his own bedroom. He pulled on clothes and poked his head out of his room and his heart was still racing because he hadn’t found food during the jump and he was starving but Bin and Minhyuk were  _ right there _ and they were in their uniforms and Minhyuk was scrubbing blood off his hands and Dongmin didn’t think he could handle looking at either of them right then.

“Are you sure you’re all right?” Bin asked.

“I’m fine,” Minhyuk said.

“It wasn’t him,” Bin said.

“I know,” Minhyuk said.

“It just looked like him,” Bin said.

“I know,” Minhyuk said.

“You can’t lose face like that in front of the others again.”

“I know,” Minhyuk said.

“He was saying crazy things.”

“I know.”

“You were saying crazy things.”

“It was a crazy situation.”

“But you’re okay now?”

“I will be once Dongmin gets home.”

Dongmin’s stomach growled. He couldn’t wait. He said, “Don’t mind me. I just need a quick snack and to keep studying.” 

Bin and Minhyuk both turned to him, startled.

“Hyung,” Minhyuk began.

Dongmin yanked open the fridge, grabbed a container of dumplings, and bolted back to his room.

The dumplings didn’t taste good cold, but Dongmin was hungry, and he really did need to study.

For the next couple of days, Dongmin couldn’t handle being around Bin and Minhyuk still, and he spent as much time as he could out of the house. He rose early and he stayed out late.

One morning, Minhyuk caught Dongmin as he was on his way out the door, pile of books in his arms.

“Hey, will I see you at all this weekend?” Minhyuk asked.

“I have a big test coming up,” Dongmin mumbled. “Gonna be at the library.”

“I thought we were going to watch a movie with Jinwoo and Myungjun,” Minhyuk said. He leaned in the doorway. He looked oddly vulnerable, was wearing a sweater that was a bit too big for him. One of Bin’s maybe?

Something about him was giving Dongmin deja vu.

“Sorry. Maybe next time. Gotta go.” Dongmin turned away and hurried down the steps.

As headed down the sidewalk, he heard a strange popping noise behind him, and he realized - it was the sound of himself falling through time.

And he remembered.

Himself at nineteen, falling into the future. Landing on the front steps of a fancy apartment and seeing a forlorn Minhyuk in an oversized sweater and asking what was wrong and Minhyuk bundling him inside with barely a word and the two of them making love frantically. Nineteen-year-old Dongmin had enjoyed himself thoroughly, because he’d only recently lost his virginity to nineteen-year-old Minhyuk and hadn’t been looking forward to the dry spell that was going to follow.

Dongmin had never begrudged other versions of himself encounters with Minhyuk, because they were all him, and no matter what, Minhyuk was his, but in that moment he paused, and he was tempted to go back and demand to know what the hell Minhyuk was thinking.

But he kept walking, and now - now he could see that Minhyuk had been sad and hurt and afraid and so many things his younger self hadn’t been able to see. 

Dongmin thought of Minhyuk washing blood off his hands at the kitchen sink. What had happened to Minhyuk while Dongmin had been gone? Minhyuk was always Dongmin’s anchor while he was falling through time. Who was Minhyuk’s anchor?

This time it must have been nineteen-year-old Dongmin because Dongmin himself,  _ this _ Dongmin, present Dongmin, wasn’t good enough, wasn’t  _ present _ enough, didn’t know how to be there for the man he loved.

Dongmin turned around and started back, then stopped. No point in interrupting his nineteen-year-old self. Some things were fated to happen, after all. 

He continued on to the library, and he studied until lunch, but then he packed up his books and headed back to the apartment. He put his books on his desk in his room, and then he went and knocked on Minhyuk’s closed door. There was no answer, so he tried the door. It wasn’t locked, so he eased it open carefully. 

Minhyuk lay curled on his side in the bed, back to the door, the covers drawn up around his hips but clearly nude. He was, thankfully, alone. Dongmin didn’t usually mind meeting other versions of himself, but he’d never encountered a version of himself with Minhyuk, and he wasn’t sure he could handle that right now.

“Hey,” he said softly. “Are you hungry? I can make some lunch.”

He wasn’t nearly as good a cook as Minhyuk but he wasn’t terrible either.

Minhyuk rolled over and opened his eyes, and though he looked exhausted and pale, he smiled. “I could eat. But come lie with me for a bit?”

Dongmin nodded and crossed the room, slid under the covers beside Minhyuk, who tangled their legs and snuggled close and sighed happily. Even though he’d just been with a younger Dongmin, he seemed perfectly content and happy to be with Dongmin again.

“I love you,” he said.

Dongmin sensed no insincerity behind it, no apology or guilt, just warmth and contentment.

“I will always love you,” Minhyuk said. “You remember what you said to me? After our first time, when we were nineteen.”

“I will love you for all my life, for forever,” Dongmin repeated.

Minhyuk smiled at him and said, “I will love you for all my life, for forever.”

It felt like more than a declaration of love. It felt like a promise, a vow. And something else Dongmin couldn’t quite put his finger on.

They lay there, just breathing together, till Minhyuk’s hunger got the better of him, and then Minhyuk let Dongmin dress him - Dongmin liked it almost better than he liked undressing him, because he got to choose soft colors and fabrics instead of the dull olive of his uniform - and they padded into the kitchen and fixed a meal. 

They sat in the den and studied together after that, and they put their books away in time to meet Jinwoo and Myungjun to go see the movie.

Dongmin noticed after that that no matter what, Minhyuk was kind and forgiving and affectionate. He went out of his way to make Dongmin’s favorite food, and whenever Dongmin wanted attention he’d set aside his books or turn away from Bin and his other friends. The intensity of his focus during lovemaking was intoxicating, but Dongmin was starting to worry about the feverish light in Minhyuk’s eyes whenever Dongmin returned from a time-fall.

One day, when Dongmin returned from class, Minhyuk said, “I met you at the library today.”

“Oh?” Dongmin put his book bag in his bedroom, then curled on the sofa beside Minhyuk.

Where Myungjun was naturally affectionate, most of Bin and Minhyuk’s military acquaintances assumed that Dongmin and Myungjun had just become accustomed to that barracks closeness Minhyuk and Bin had brought with them to the outside world and didn’t think much of it when Dongmin and Minhyuk were close, especially since Myungjun and Bin also tended to use everyone around them as pillows and furniture.

“Seventeen-year-old you. You were very shy - and suspicious. It was cute.” Minhyuk looked amused.

“I remember you were very cryptic. And so handsome.”

“So handsome you pounced on sixteen-year-old me when we met at the river,” Minhyuk said. His expression turned wistful. “If I could travel through time, I’d tell my younger self to never waste a second with you, never take his eyes off of you, never let you go, not till he absolutely had to.”

“Oh yeah? What are you going to do with me, then, now that you have me?”

Minhyuk kissed him. It was slow and soft, but there was an undercurrent of heat to it - and desperation.

Dongmin didn’t mind, let Minhyuk drag Dongmin into the nearest bedroom - Dongmin’s - and push the door shut.

After, they lay tangled in the sheets, sweat cooling.

“You know, the only reason I could ever give you a list of all my jumps is because I memorized the copy of the list you gave me,” Dongmin said. 

Minhyuk looked at him. “What?”

“Yeah. Until a further in the future version of me gives you another list, that list you keep in your wallet is all we’ve got, and chances are he’ll just be cribbing off of  _ that _ list so -”

Minhyuk pressed a finger to Dongmin’s lips. “Don’t worry about it. While you’re here with me, be here. Don’t worry about jumps till you jump, okay?”

Dongmin nodded - and licked Minhyuk’s finger.

Minhyuk laughed and leaned in for another kiss.

Dongmin knew his jumping could be perilous. He’d landed in Gwangju, after all. But he’d landed far in the future, seen Minhyuk old and happy, so he knew everything would be all right.

They made love again, and then while Minhyuk was sleeping Dongmin had another lecture to get to, so he slipped out of bed and dressed, grabbed his books and left.

On the way to class, he fell through time.

And landed in a fenced courtyard.

He saw military jeeps. He saw barbed wire.

He heard Minhyuk shout, “Yoon Sanha! Wait!”

* * *

“After everything that went down in Gwangju, they want us to just be prepared,” Bin said. 

Minhyuk nodded. “All right. We’ve got this. You go.”

Sanha cast Minhyuk a look, but Minhyuk shook his head ever so slightly.

Bin nodded and took off with Seungkwan.

As soon as he was out of sight, Minhyuk said, “We  _ do _ have this, Cadet. All we have to do is count. I know this is boring, but we’ll be fine.” He handed Sanha the clipboard.

Sanha sighed, but he nodded and picked up the pen, started counting the boxes in the back of the supply truck.

There was a popping sound behind them.

Sanha spun and drew his weapon.

Minhyuk did the same, but he  _ knew _ that sound.

“Yoon Sanha! Wait!” Minhyuk put a hand on Sanha’s arm.

Dongmin peeked out from behind one of the jeep garages.

Oh hell. How had he landed here?

“We have an intruder,” Sanha said. “Come out with your hands up! Should we radio for backup?”

“Let’s see if we can’t get him to comply first and then we’ll radio for our CO.” Minhyuk’s heart was pounding. As long as Dongmin followed orders everything would be fine.

“Come out with your hands up!” Sanha shouted again.

“Listen, can I come out with one hand up?” Dongmin asked. “I know we’re all men here, but I’m naked, and it’s very awkward.” He poked his head around the side of the garage again.

“Come out!” Sanha’s grip on the pistol was sure and unwavering. He was an excellent shot. Minhyuk had helped train him.

Minhyuk shrugged out of his jacket. “Listen, it’ll be less awkward for everyone if he’s covered up, so I’m just going to give him this.” He edged forward and held out the jacket. “Here, come put this on.”

“Hyung,” Sanha protested.

“That’s Senior Cadet to you,” Minhyuk snapped. “Lower your pistol before things get unnecessarily violent.”

Sanha hesitated, then lowered his pistol but didn’t holster it.

Dongmin, one hand up, one hand covering himself, shuffled out from behind the garage. “I know I shouldn’t be here, and there’s not a great explanation for how I got here. I will submit myself to your custody as obediently as possible, and -”

“You there!”

Minhyuk and Sanha turned at the sound of Sergeant Noh’s voice.

They both snapped off salutes.

“Sir!” Sanha said. “This intruder -”

Dongmin reached for Minhyuk’s jacket.

“He’s a communist rebel! He was at Gwangju! I saw him with my own eyes!” Sergeant Noh drew his pistol and fired.

Dongmin, huddled behind Minhyuk’s jacket, staggered.

Minhyuk caught him. “Hyung! No -” He fell to his knees, Dongmin in his arms.

“Hyung?” Sanha asked.

Minhyuk pressed a hand to the rapidly-spreading bloodstain. “You’re a medical student. Tell me what to do. Dongminnie!”

Someone grabbed his shoulder. “That’s not Dongmin.” It was Bin. Only his voice was shaking and he didn’t sound sure. “Dongmin’s in class. You know that.”

“As a medical student,” Dongmin gasped, “I know there’s nothing you can do.”

Minhyuk’s heart roared in his ears. “No. No! This wasn’t on the list! This -”

“Of course this couldn’t be on the list.” Dongmin reached up, caressed Minhyuk’s face.

Wiped away his tears.

“Cadet Park, step back!” Sergeant Noh roared.

Minhyuk shook his head. “No, hyung,  _ no -” _

“This isn’t the last one on the list,” Dongmin said. He whispered, “For all my life, for forever…”

Hands grabbed Minhyuk and dragged him backward.

He screamed and thrashed, fought. Grabbed someone’s arm and pivoted, threw. Bin landed hard on the ground. Seungkwan landed next to him.

Someone slapped him hard across the face.

“Cadet! Get ahold of yourself!”

Sergeant Noh was right in front of him, snarling.

Sanha said, “He’s dead. What do we do?”

Bin said, “He looks just like our roommate. Cadet Park is understandably upset.”

“I didn’t think it was possible for anyone to be as handsome as Lee Dongmin,” Seungkwan said.

Minhyuk hiccuped a sob. “It’s not.”

Sergeant Noh glanced over his shoulder. “Is it your roommate?”

Bin shook his head. “No, sir. Of course not. Dongmin’s in class right now. I saw him a few minutes ago, headed for his lecture hall.”

Minhyuk sucked in a deep breath, tried to calm his racing heart. Dongmin in this time was alive, was safe, but -

But Dongmin was  _ dead. _

Minhyuk lifted his head and saw Sanha carefully covering the motionless body with Minhyuk’s bloodstained jacket. The day would come when Dongmin would leave for class or to go for a walk or even just go into his room to study and vanish and not come back and -

Minhyuk bowed his head and sobbed.

Sergeant Noh made a disgusted sound. “Cadet Moon, get your roommate out of here. Turn in your reports tomorrow.”

“Yes, sir.” Bin tugged Minhyuk to his feet. “Let’s go.”

By the time they reached the gate, Minhyuk was no longer crying. Bin marched him all the way back to the apartment. Students saw two military cadets in bloodstained uniforms, and some cursed at them, but most got out of their way.

Minhyuk headed straight for the kitchen to scrub the blood off his hands. Dongmin’s blood. He couldn’t tell Dongmin. There was no way to explain to Bin. He had to clean up and pretend like everything was fine. He’d have to grovel to Sergeant Noh tomorrow and apologize for scaring Sanha. 

Bin stood beside him.

“Are you sure you’re all right?”

“I’m fine,” Minhyuk said. But he wasn’t, and he wasn’t sure he would be ever again.

Later, much later, he sat in his room and unfolded the list he kept in his wallet and looked at the items that hadn’t been crossed out, and then he folded the list back up and put it away.

* * *

Dongmin had never been to this place before, which made him immensely nervous. Landing somewhere rural was always a gamble. On the one hand, he was unlikely to run into other humans who might try to harm him or call law enforcement on him for being a pervert or a criminal. On the other hand, he was exposed to the elements and wild animals and had no access to food, which could be bad if he was there for a while.

He ducked behind a shrub and did his best to survey his surroundings.

Was he in Jinju? 

He tried out the bird whistle that was his and Minhyuk’s standard signal.

There was a reply. Dongmin wasn’t silly enough to think an actual bird would reply, so he peeked out from behind the shrub - and saw a little boy, maybe six years old, peeking at him.

He hid again, cursing under his breath. There was no reason other people couldn’t use that bird whistle as a signal.

Only the little boy said, “Lee Dongmin-ssi?”

Dongmin poked his head out again. “Yes?”

The little boy held out a neatly-wrapped bundle. “To wear, Dongmin-ssi.” 

Dongmin accepted the bundle with one hand, and the little boy bowed and scampered away, giggling. Dongmin heard more giggling - more children. What was going on?

But he unwrapped the bundle and found a beautiful silk hanbok in pale purples and blues. Just  _ when _ in time had he traveled to? He hadn’t worn so fine a hanbok since his coming of age day - or, well, that wasn’t accurate. He’d worn Minhyuk’s Cousin Hangyeol’s hanbok a while back.

This one fit him perfectly. He smoothed down the folds, made sure it was tied properly. His hair wasn’t nearly long enough to tie up right, so he tied on a headband like a warrior even though he was a scholar, and then he pulled on the socks and slippers, and he gathered up the satin the clothes had been wrapped in, and he stepped out from behind the shrub.

Several small children, the boy and two girls, gazed up at him.

“Wow,” the bigger girl said. “You look like a fairytale prince.”

“Thank you,” Dongmin said. “Ah - where am I?”

“Great Uncle’s house,” the little boy said. “This way.”

He turned and scampered away, and just past the trees there was a path, and the path led to a small hanok with a wide courtyard, with a cooking fire and a sprawling porch.

An old man sat on a rocking chair, dozing.

Dongmin approached cautiously and bowed. “Good day, grandfather. I don’t mean to trouble you, and this might sound odd, but where am I, and what year is it?”

The old man opened his eyes, and his eyes were endlessly dark and intense. He said, “I’m no grandfather, for I never married and had children.”

Dongmin bowed. “Apologies, I meant no disrespect.”

The old man said, “You once said that two years isn’t that long, and you were right. It’s been sixty-two years since you saw me last.”

Dongmin straightened up, and he saw the piece of paper in the old man’s hand, yellowed with age, a list in his own handwriting, with every item but one crossed out. “Minhyuk?”

The old man smiled and said, “You’re just as beautiful as I remember.”

Dongmin said, “Sixty-two years?”

Minhyuk said, “For all my life, for forever.” He smiled and patted the space beside him. “Sit, eat. The children will bring some food. Talk to me one last time before you go, and then I can finally go too.”

Dongmin sat down, and the children ran into the kitchen, shouting for Grandma to bring treats for Great Uncle’s guest, and Dongmin talked and Minhyuk gazed at him and listened until they both ran out of time.

**Author's Note:**

> This story is set in the 1970's and 1980's and touches on the Gwangju Uprising, but I've played pretty fast and loose with how a military officer's education would normally go. 
> 
> Also, I read the book The Time Traveler's Wife but never saw the movie. I did hit up Wikipedia for a refresher on the plot, though.
> 
> This is a story about traveling through time and being with the person you love, but it's more like the dark, bitter version of Knock.
> 
> Still, go [listen to Knock.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zz7YZtpz2Ek) It's a good song.


End file.
